Friday, August 26, 2011

Just an illusion

Gosh, the feeling is backed. Everytime when my first cry is just around the corner, I feel misery and acting like a chucklehead. I don't really laugh from the bottom of my heart. No excitement for the celebration thing. People around started to questioning me why I'm putting on this blur-blue-face infront of them. Accept my apologize, It's nothing to do with you guys. Sorry, I can't help myself to walk out from the dark cloud. I know I had promised some not to cry like a baby anymore, but my tears come out every year in this season just like snow falls every winter when there's no sun. This year is my first birthday at home without daddy. When I walked down the memory lane and thinking back every year on this particular time where I used to receive his gifts, wishes and love. Nevertheless, the smiley-face-cake he bought almost every year at the same cake house. He used to be the one circled out the date on the calender, the one reminded me the day was near like you were telling me how happy you're when you first saw me came to this world and couldn't wait to share the joy with me. Why am I still filled with sadness. sigh.. I really miss you so much.. daddy. . .forgive me for not being a tough girl.

I'm just a child now wishes for one more hug from you.