最后第二天

你昨天的陪伴 让我真的好多了 （谢谢，珊）
今天一个人呆在家 望着慢转的时间
上网读部落格 让自己别想太多近来发生的事
甚至逼自己回想 那个人写过的无情
反复地读了一篇又一篇
好让自己能够真正的对他死心
更新图片 删除资料 抹去着回忆
想彻底地把他给忘记
但我还是办不到
我到底怎么了 别人也都笑我傻瓜
当一切早已结束时 过去的事是不可能再从来的
这句话我现在才了解
请别再给我假希望
我真的 累了

I love you hero

It’s already the third day, I still cannot accept what had already happen. The lovely king had leaved far away from us. Out of sudden everything seems so difficult to me. His emperor is falling down. His beloved queen is broken down. She look strong but she are not. I never see her cry like this before. She never stops crying since that day onward. Her eyes are always red. Prince and I promise, we will not cry infront of her anymore. She thinks a lot when we are not around. Her tears will start to drop. We always try to talk with her whenever she looks unstable. Ask her this and that act like a small child, just to distract and keep her from thinking too much. But she still will cry alone when we are not there with her. Sometime I do not know what else to say. I cannot do anything more than that. I feel so helpless. I cry out too. My heart is so pain, like someone is tearing it out. I scare I cannot stand on my own anymore. Act like I can make it through infront of her. I feel tire sometime. I know all my buddies are backing me up here. I am trying to be strong. But it’s really tough. I would like to thanks all my dear friends. I really do appreciate it. Even the one who finally show up. I do not dare to look at him. I do not know what to say. But deep inside my heart, I feel more depress. If I can only speak or get to see him on that occasion, I wish, I wish never ever get to see him for the rest of my life. Forever. I did not plan to tell him what happen. I suddenly feel like listen to his voice on that minute. Surprisingly, he called me after the message. I cannot believe it. When he spoke to me I know he already knew what happen. That’s why he will call. My tears are pumping out again. I cannot stop. I am numb. In my though “He’s just pitying me”. For him, it’s just a courtesy. There are too many things happen to me recently. I have made many big decisions. Mostly are wrong some are correct I think. Maybe I should let the king to make all the decision for me. He will always be the super hero when I need help. I know he will be there when I need him. I believe.

p/s: I love you

Ain't no dream

27^th of July 2008 5.26am, I had received a call from my cousin sister. I was awake. She asked me to pack my belonging and get ready to the airport around 7. She had booked me an air ticket because she said my father had just been admitted to the hospital. I cannot believe what have heard. Gosh, it’s not a dream. My father is having a heart attack. It’s the second times he stay at the hospital because of heart disease.

I cried out, the tears were pumping out. My hand was shaking while packing my things into the luggage. I do not know how to get to the airport, did not know exactly who will be fetching me but I keep packing. My friend woke up. I told her the situation and she helped me call a car. All the way to the airport, I can feel the tears are still hanging around inside my eyes. How can it be? Yesterday we just messaged each other. He told me he had post me the notes and Monday I will get all the notes plus a cute teddy bear for me. Though the teddy was just a joke, but I was so delight. My daddy is so cute.

The uncle who fetch did not want money from me. He knew why I am rushing to the airport early in the morning. Thank you, uncle. I really appreciate a lot. I reached the airport. I reach early. I’m sitting down waiting to check in. My mind was so blank then I start to think a lot. I scare to call my family again. My mom did not switch on her phone. I wish there is someone I can talk with. I even think of him. So, I start typing. This is the only way to stop me from over thinking or being negative. It’s now 7.12am. My plane will be departing on 9.45am and landing on 12.15pm. What I can do is just waiting. I will soon back to K.L. I love you dad.

p/s: i love you

Dream of you again..

My dreams are all about you recently

All our past tense memories came to me

Nightmare had found the way in

The thing that I always afraid of

You act like I'm annoying to you

Your words are so cruel and cold

like snowstorm starting to fall

how can I hope to stand?

there is the blizzard waiting to give me the knockout blow

Crying out with no tears

I don’t really know you anymore

Gosh, it’s a dream..

Just let go

Yesterday i was crazy working. Damn tire man. Again facing the laptop type type and type all the way until eleven o'clock (curi curi msn too la =p). When i finally get to stand up and do the yawn gesture, i heard the "cracking" sound from my back. Ohh, another over time day. By the way, it's not the worst one actually, compared to last time twelve o'clock under basement3. I believe the record will be break very very soon. Probably tomorrow as our dear Cynthia say that she is willing to work with us until mid night minimum 12am. Hold on, how about the maximum? O.o" Nobody knows.

Today i wake up very early in the morning to meet up with Yap, the one who allowed me to change third gear and drive towards the busy road on my first day of driving while he was sitting beside me eating nuts, cutting his fingernails and giving out instructions. That's it! He's my driving instructor. ^^ I drive along Pandan Indah, do side parking and three point turn. During my driving, my phone rings two times. Gosh, i forget to turn on silent mode. So I just ignore it and try not to get distract by the sound since the new born baby road driver here need fully concentration on what she's doing. I don't hope to end up the car parking at the nearest service center. =) Early in the morning who will he or she be i wonder (private number). On the way heading to no fun job, i received that call again. Ohh, is Onion Chung Gor who calling to the find out his angka giliran from me. My god, today is the day for us to find out which U we are getting in. But why yet i feel nervous? Until i start msn, many of my classmate had checked online while some are still lagging and some already know which U they are getting in. Unfortunately, some get none. That's how the "Boleh" gov doing their part. Start from then only i feel so nervous. I scare to know the result. Will i get nothing after what i had done in the pass one and a half years? Please do treat me like that. o_o Surprisingly/Amazingly/Wonderfully i get the same U and same course with my dear little Pei Wen..so happy. ^^ That moment i call her with my tears also coming out. Can't believe after we had been in the same school, same class and almost every years sitting beside each others from form one to upper six, we both still manage to get the same U and course together.Wow.. What a lovely coincidence~

Btw,I was thinking of running far away from here before, after i got the result i feel like i still not willing to give up and part with many things. Sigh.. Maybe i should just let go.

Being Tagged

First of all, thank you for your tag. Though i really didn't know the regulations of this kinda tagging things, I've make up my mind to complete the given task. This shows the honour by being tagged by the person who was also been tagged.

1. Which do you prefer? Black or White?
White is always better. My favourite color wat~

2. What kind of person do you think you are?
Ordinary person who is waiting for something extraordinary to turn up.
p/s: Might just start with shirt sleeves.

3. Blue or Red?
Neither blue nor red. Purple shall be.

4. What's your mood right now?
Music makes one feel so sentimental, it always gets on one's nerves which is the same thing now.

5. List down 5 things you did yesterday.
Dreamed bout driving four wheels drive again.
Help a game fever friend search for Ipoint Reload Card at Edicom.
Read a dramatic forum which the anti-informatic guy who posted it..sucks.
Work OT at Low Yat until 12am.@.@
Closed my eyes.

6. List out 2 of your best friends( more than 2 la...)
Never list out--best friends do not need it cause they will know it.

7. What kind of boy do you prefer?
Guide me the path when i can't bear to see.

8. Do u like your dad or your mom?
I do. When they are not moodiness.

9. What's your favourite colour?
Either white lie or whitewash.

10. Which would you prefer? Japan or Singapore?
Japan, though wa ka ri ma sen~ i like their culture.

11. List down 3 things in your mind.
Blog, Drive, Him.

12. Who are u chatting with in MSN?
Nope, cause i appearing offline.

13. What are you doing?
Thinking & blogging.

14. What do you know?
I know who I am. No one else knows who I am. If I was a giraffe, and someone said I was a snake, I'd think, no, actually I'm a giraffe.

15. What's friendship?
Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: What! You too? I thought I was the only one.

Who do you tag?
Baba, Popo & TS

~The End~

一封寄不出的信

虽然已不算太高，可却还是跌得好疼，疼攀入心里头去。被你的冷言寒语给冻透了全身，整个人像被冰封。去寻找那一丝丝地温暖，你还愿意吗?是想把一切从记忆中永久地删除掉吧，仿佛从来不认识彼此。
“这就是你想要的?你非得这样做不可吗艺翔?”

白依

白依没哭，不是因为她坚强或不难过，只是心口的痛渐渐麻木了她。像僵在巨大的冰块里，无法移动，面无表情，没有思想，想从内心消去这寒冷，可却无能为力。看起来若无其事，其实并不是没裂缝，而是她在心里仍然想要保留它的完整，不希望它破。非常不容易尝试着走出他的阴影，出了门也会在路人甲、乙、丙中搜寻和他相似的身影或在曾经一起到过的地方期待着某某的出现。

有人告诉白依说，倘若她要完全走出伤痕需要很长的时间，至少一年，甚至更久。人是不能一直活在回忆当中的，奉劝一定要拿出勇气来摆脱它。但...

她能做到吗?